As we have all been inspired by the vision and sacrificial life of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., many of us who have suffered the tragedy of mental illness in our own lives and/or that of a family member, also have dreams of a future when medical science and social attitudes will put an end to the discrimination in mental health care and in the public perception of people who are in recovery from mental illness and addictions. As a community mental health educator, a woman who is living with bipolar disorder and a mother who lost her son to suicide, I invite you to join me in the vision that I hold for the future of mental health understanding, funding and treatment.

• I have a dream that one day soon health care reform legislation in this country will cover mental illness, addictions and other behavioral diseases of the brain as fairly and equally as other biologically based physical illnesses. Any engine driving national health care reform without mental health parity is on an uneven track, discriminating against 1 in 4 U.S. citizens.

• I have a dream that Michigan will join the majority of its sister states in abolishing separate funding systems for substance use health issues and mental health. As it stands, our mental health system struggles to deal with the costly recidivism in our hospitals caused by lack of coordinated communication, clinical training and integrated treatment for persons with co-occurring substance use and mental illness.
  

• I have a dream that one day the Silver Ribbon, the symbol for brain disorders developed and disseminated by NARSAD, (National Alliance for Research on Schizophrenia and Depression) will be as well recognized and well-funded as the Pink ribbon, the symbol for breast cancer.

• I have a dream that when Joe Q. Public reads the ever occurring “shock and awe” headlines about mass murder, a mother drowning her babies, or a youth shooting his parents in their sleep, he will be able to go beyond the very natural and appropriate, moral, social and legal implications of such atrocities, to ask, “What about the medical issues in this situation? What is the mental health history of this individual and what proper medical treatment could have prevented this abominable tragedy?” The more the media, can assist mental health educators and advocates in always stressing the differences in thought, mood and behavior between treated and untreated brain disorders, the more millions of people in recovery from mental illness will be admired, not stigmatized.
  

• 
  I have a dream that tax paying voters will, through education, convert righteous indignation into motivation to learn more and contribute more money to brain research and mental health care treatment and advocacy.
  

• As a parent who lost her first born son to suicide 2 years ago I am furious at the devastation of these diseases too! I will jump through hoops when medical science develops a one stop shop shot that will instantly rearrange the crazy chemistry in the broken brain with enough temporary sanity to convert a state of mind that self-talks “I’m not sick and I don’t need help,” to “I realize I have an illness that can be treated and I know where to go for help today.”
  

For help with mental health services in Oakland County please call our Resource and Crisis Helpline (800) 231-1127.

Jacqueline Castine is the community education specialist at the Oakland County Community Mental Health Authority . Her fall class schedule is posted at www.jacquelinecastine.com. She is the author of I Wish I Could Fix It, But. . . She can be reached at castinej@occmha.org and 248-975-9684.

This December was not nearly as busy as other months have been. This gave us the time we needed as a team to re-evaluate and recreate ourselves for the New Year. Much time was given to developing new strategies to reach the youth which are one of our target populations.

The new program about employment readiness was done for the Employment Dinner at Visions. It was very well received by the members of the Employment Club,
The team spent a very special time with Tata Technologies. We gave a presentation during their Holiday Celebration. We learned some very interesting things about Tata Industries and their Corporate Social Responsibility Committee. This group really takes Social Responsibility seriously. (See article on Holiday Reflections).

Our two reoccurring programs, one for the New Hire Orientation at the Oakland County Community Mental Health Authority and the other for the Day Program for St. Joseph Mercy-Oakland were done. There is always a great crowd in both places that look forward to us coming.
The members of the CNS Anti-Stigma Program are looking forward to bigger and better things in the coming year.

When I was a teenager and was dealing with something tough, someone told me that the good thing about seasons is that they always change. Translation: the difficult time I was going through wasn’t going to stick around forever. It was a season in my life, and I would get through it. I can’t even begin to remember what was going on at the time, but I do remember that piece of wisdom. I have recalled those words many times.

I was diagnosed five years ago with bipolar disorder. I have been hospitalized so many times that I’ve felt beyond discouraged. I’ve had my seasons of pain and my seasons of peace with this disorder. I have at times identified myself as this illness and then realized that I am NOT my illness. I have been balanced and stable, up or down. I have experienced it all.

Stigma is both external and internal. I have experienced both, but it’s the internal garbage that I am always wrestling with. Mental health disorders are medical conditions; brain disorders; chemical imbalances. They are not anyone’s fault. You see? Oftentimes we blame ourselves for something beyond our control. I know I did. I was embarrassed. I was discouraged. I felt “less-than.” It is something that I experienced when I was first diagnosed, but I still deal with it from time to time.

I want to share with you an entry from my journal, dated November 14, 2004; one month after I was given the diagnosis. The feelings are very raw and very real. I was blaming myself for my illness. I was feeling so much guilt and shame…and was very deeply hurt.

“It’s all your fault,
No one else but you.”
My mind self-destructs;
Hopeless, angry, dying inside.

“No one understands you.
They never will.”
More lies destroy me;
Bitter, worthless, self-hate.

“You’re all alone.
Life is a joke.”
The untruth besets.
The belief consumes me.

“What is the ‘purpose’ anyway?”
The thought eats me alive.
The hope dying inside.

“I’m broken here,
Can’t anyone see?”

One thing I learn from looking back at these journal entries and remembering that piece of wisdom about seasons always changing is that I can see where they did! Where I was once hopeless, I can look ahead and read to where hope began to bloom. The next journal entry was dated January 12, 2005.

Acceptance, acceptance, acceptance.
Life isn’t great all the time.

Am I okay with my present situation?
Hmmm…. I’m trying to be.
I wish it weren’t like this, or that life wasn’t always this way.

But... it is. So…
Allow, allow, allow.

Can I do that?
I’m scared.
I guess I just want to know why.
Why me? Why this? Why now?
Why?

I want to never forget that this is where I am.
This experience is uniquely mine
And that’s okay.
I think I’m almost proud of that.
All mine. All me.
This is history in the making;
My life.

I still had questions, the question of “WHY?”…but the season had changed. My hope was beginning to return and the self-stigma, the blaming, the guilt; it was beginning to dissolve.

This past December I was able to witness first hand the spirit of holidays being played out in a couple of different ways. I witnessed 2 different situations that greatly improved my hope that we will overcome our differences and do something for the greater good.

First I would like to talk about Tata Technologies of Novi, MI. The CNS Anti-Stigma Program was asked to come and do a presentation for the employees during their Holiday Celebration. I learned that for the past 5 years the staff of Tata Technologies had “adopted” the CNS Young Adult Program (YAP) and had given gifts and money to help further the work that Wendy Manus and the other YAP staffers are doing and to make the holidays a little brighter for some of the people who are a part of the YAP program. If that was not enough, Tata Technologies has been matching the funds that the employees give sometimes to the amount of nearly $2,000 additional funds.
Karin Cress, a high-school friend of Wendy’s, knew of the great work that was being done and wanted to help in some way. What started out as a lunchtime knitting club eventually transformed into the Corporate Social Responsibility Committee. The group is growing in numbers and in the amount of money that they donate.

This year’s CSR committee consisted of Dan Saad, Barb Yeagy, Kathleen McKenzie, Kathy Long, Shawn O’Brien, Nori Schonfelder, Karin Cress, Richard Le June, and Stephanie LaPouttre. Our hats are off to Tata Technologies and to the CSR Committee for the wonderful work that they do there. This truly is Holiday Spirit in action!
Secondly I want to talk about the annual Holiday Extravaganza held in Pontiac the first Saturday in December every year. This was the first time my husband Dubrae and I were part of the planning committee for the parade. I didn’t know what to expect, I hadn’t attended any of the parades from previous years.

I must say that I was amazed and even excited to have been a part of such a well-run event. I was also surprised to see that neighboring cities were part of the festivities. Elected officials including Maureen Hammon Mayor Pro-Tem of Auburn Hills, Art McClellan President of Pontiac City Council, Supervisor Carl W. Solden from Waterford, and Supervisor Mike Kowall from White Lake Township were featured participants in the parade. There was something for everyone, clowns, plenty of floats and large balloons, many which were donated by the Parade Company of Detroit. School bands, churches, civic groups, and much, much more helped to make the day’s festivities complete.

I was also was impressed by the spirit of co-operation that was evident throughout the day. Kudus to Linda Zabik and the rest of the parade committee for a job well done! At a time when there’s not a lot to celebrate with the state of our economy and the trouble that’s plaguing our governments and schools we need beacons of hope like this. It lets us know that we really are in this together and that brotherhood is very much alive and well, even in the city of Pontiac.